Kim Walker-Smith Encounters CommunionFire!?
And all of the sudden—and let me just remind you again, okay? This is not a normal thing for me to just have these encounters, but I have one and I just live off of that until the next one (laughs). So, I had this encounter, all the sudden I see Jesus standing in front of me and He’s reaching for me like this (gestures)—like He wants me to come to Him. And, I was terrified. I—I felt like I couldn’t go to where He was. I felt—I felt ashamed, I felt scared, I felt like I didn’t deserve to be close to Him. I couldn’t even look Him in the face. And Jesus (laughs) is completely irresistible. I always say there are three things that are completely irresistible to me. One is, of course, Jesus. Number two is my husband. And number three is chocolate (laughs, audience laughs) Completely irresistible.
Anyways, (pause) so, irresistible, I go to Jesus, I fall in His arms. And as I’m laying in His arms, I’m still feeling kind of afraid to really even look at Him. All the sudden this thought comes into my mind, and I know this is not my thought. I would never, ever, ever in a million, trillion years think this; and I think, “I need to ask Him two questions.” I need to ask Him, “How much do You love me; and what were You thinking when You created me?” And as this thought comes into my mind, I’m thinking, “No way! I am not asking those questions.”
Now, here’s what you need to know about me, and why I’m so afraid to ask those questions. One is, when I was a little girl, I’d heard someone say something; and long story short, I got it in my head somehow that I was a mistake. I thought that I was supposed to be born a boy; but I was born a girl, and God made a really big mistake. And now here I am, just this big mistake, and I literally believed that my entire life. And to ask God, “What were You thinking when you created me?” I really believed that He would say to me, “Well, I made a mistake. And I was trying to make a boy, and came out a girl; and, now I’m just trying to make the best out of a bad situation.” (shrugs, audience laughs) I know, it sounds ridiculous, huh? That’s really what I believed; it’s crazy! And then to ask Him, “How much do You love me?” I felt like He’d say, “Well, you’re a mistake, so how much could I love you? I mean, I think you’re okay.”
So, now (pause) now I feel like the little kid that just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. That’s how I feel; I feel completely exposed. I felt so angry, like, “Anthony, you just said it out loud in front of everybody—now everybody knows; and He (points to the sky) probably heard you!” (audience laughs) Now I have to ask! I was so upset. And finally, I’m just—I’m trembling, and I can see myself in Jesus’ arms just—just trembling and shaking—I can’t even look at Him. And finally, I get the courage—and let me tell you my courage was about this big (holds up finger and thumb to show a pinch)—and thank the Lord, that is all you need; you just need that much courage, okay? I finally say, “How much do You love me?” (motions pulling back) I’m kinda’ scared.
I mean, this is what’s going through my head. I know this sounds crazy, but, these are the kinds of lies that I was believing. And all the sudden, out loud, in the natural—outside of my vision—k, over the microphone, Anthony Skinner says, “You need to ask God two questions.” And my heart starts pounding, “What?” “You need to ask God, ‘How much do You love me?’ And, ‘What were You thinking when You created me?’” (feigns shocked look) “What?!” (audience applauds)
And all the sudden, Jesus puts me down (laughs) and He starts stretching out his arms, k. They’re each going out each way; and it looked like Stretch Armstrong. And a lot of times I say Stretch Armstrong and some of the younger people don’t know who I’m talking about, okay? He was a superhero; and by the way—that makes me feel old, and I am not old, okay? (audience laughs) So, if you don’t know who Stretch Armstrong is you need to Google him. But he was, like, a superhero; and his arms and legs and stuff they’d like stretch out like spaghetti noodles—like forever. And you’re, like, falling off a cliff and he’d be like (makes stretching motions) and, like, save you, okay?
So Jesus, k, His arms are like stretching out forever and ever, and I’m looking and looking and I can’t see the ends. I can’t see where it’s ending; and he starts laughing, and he goes, “I love you this much ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” And He’s laughing hysterically. (audience laughs) And then, I start laughing. I’m cracking up. I’m—I’m suddenly like—I’m—I’m becoming like so full of joy; and I’m just like, “What?! You love me that much?!” I can’t even see the ends—it’s going on forever and ever and ever. Oh my goodness, I can’t—“You love me that much?”
This—this crazy happiness is like welling up inside of me and I’m laughing with him and—and in the end of it, I’m like, “You know what? I’m good. I don’t need to ask that other question. Nah; hey, I’m good. Hey, we made some great progress today. This has been wonderful. We should do this again, sometime. Thank you, Jesus, thank you.” Like, this is how I am, okay? And a few months later; a few months, I’m at the prayer house and it’s like really early in the morning. I—I like to go there when the sun was coming up, and I’d—I’d just sit and pray and watch the sun come up. Which by the way--that is a miracle in itself because I am not a morning person.
There’s like this period of time in my life where—I don’t know, it’s just the Lord, but—anyway, so I’m there, and nothing is going on, you know, out of the ordinary. I’m just sitting and reading the Bible. And all—I—I have my—my back to the door; and all the sudden I feel the presence of the Lord literally walk into the room. And I just (catches her breath)—I mean—I—I suddenly felt this—almost like a—the fear of the Lord. This—this trembling inside of me. And I can feel Him walking towards me, close to me; and I suddenly had this revelation: He has come for that question. (audience laughs)
And I am freaking out; and there is nowhere to go. There is only one door and it is on the other side of Him; (laughs) and I am stuck. And I feel Him just come right up to me. His presence is so strong I can’t even turn. I’m just sitting there like this; and just—my heart is pounding and I feel him saying, “Kim, please, ask me that question.” And I’m like, “Ooh, hello Jesus. Good morning. I’m great. I don’t need to ask that question, I’m doing so good. Have You seen how good I’m doing, lately?” (laughs) The nervous laugh. And, Jesus is like, “Please, please, ask Me that question.”
“Ah, you know, I’m good. I’m good, Jesus. Hey, hey, you know what? It’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all cool. We’re cool; we’re cool Jesus.” And I feel Him again, “Please, please ask me that question.” And again, He was completely irresistible. And I fall on the floor; I start sobbing—like I do in His presence—and I finally say to Him, “Jesus, what were You thinking when You created me?” And suddenly; I’m standing with Jesus. And just in front of me is God the Father and He’s got a table in front of Him; and He reaches into His heart and He rips this chunk off of His heart, and He throws it on the table.
And it’s suddenly, like, clay or Play-Doh. And He starts molding it and shaping it, and I’m like, “Jesus, (pointing) what is He doing? Wh—What’s He making? What is He making?” And all of the sudden I see—He makes me! I’m there—on the table. And He reaches over; and He grabs this box and brings it over, and He sets me inside the box. And, you know those little jewelry boxes that little girls have; where you open it up and it plays music, and the little ballerina, like, twirls? Hello? Do you know what I’m talking about? (laughs) No? Do they not make those anymore? (audience laughs)
My goodness. I’m not old, k? (audience laughs) And um, it was a box like that. And He shuts the box; and He gets in front of it. (crouches) And He’s like really excited. Kinda’ looks around, and He opens the box,real fast like that! (motions upward) And when He does, inside, I start twirling, and dancing, and singing to Him and worshiping Him. And He goes, “Woohoo! Woooo!” (acts like running around) He, like, runs around—He runs around and He comes back, and He closes the box, And He’s like (looks side to side grinning as audience laughs and then motions upward). And He throws it open again and He’s like, “Woohoo!” And He starts running around in circles again, and He comes back over, and He closes it again.
An—And—I mean this is going on, and on, and on, and on; and it’s so crazy! He’d get so excited every single time. It reminded me of those little kids with the jack-in-the-box; and they’re, like, shocked every single time it pops up, as if they don’t know it’s going to do that? Right? It was like that. It’s like--it’s like He was so surprised, and so happy, every single time. And I’m—I’m standing with Jesus watching this going, (takes deep breath) “What is happening? What is—what is this? Why—why is He so happy?” And all the sudden, He reaches in the box, and He picks me up. And He puts me in the palm of His hand; and I go, from being (pause) there—watching with Jesus—to being in the palm of the Father’s hand. And, He’s bringing me close to Him; like this. (draws her palm towards her)
And I’m watching like, “What’s happening? What’s going on?” I’m getting, like, closer and closer. And all the sudden I see His heart; and I see this outline in His heart. It was that spot where He’d ripped that chunk off of His heart. And, as I’m getting closer and closer—all the sudden—He just slides me right into that spot; and I fit like a perfect puzzle piece. It was, like, a perfect fit. And as I’m sitting there—in His heart—He just says to me, “Kim, this is what I was thinking when I created you. I created you from this place, right here. I knew exactly what I was doing. You are not a mistake. You are, made perfectly how I imagined and designed. I made you simply because you make me happy. You bring me joy. And guess what? You—I think you’re funny. You make me laugh.”
This is what He’s telling me. And He says, “This is the place where I created you from; and this is the place where I have brought you back, and this is the place where you stay. Right here, in My heart, in My presence.” And all of the lies just dissipated like that; they melted away. All the lies were—were just completely gone. And in one moment, my entire life changed. I could never be the same after that. (audience applauds) One encounter with God’s love; that’s all it takes. And we were created to respond to His love. I really believe that—just my opinion—the best worship, is the worship where everyone in the room encounters God’s presence, and releases the worship that’s inside of them.
The CommunionFire Ministries 30 Day Challenge
Have Communion every day for 30 days (you pick the start day) and watch it become the most important 30 days of your life! You will begin your friendship with the Son of God. You will learn how deep His love is for you when He smiles at you. You will know His touch that calms your heart in an instant. You will see glimpses of His glory and eternal Kingdom. He will meet you where you are, as you are, for who you are. You will know its Him because His presence will be real. He will make known to you everything He has heard from His Father. He will share His hidden treasure with you. You will become His friend and He will become yours. (2 Corinthians 3:18 and 4:18) Have questions or need help? Please contact us firstname.lastname@example.org
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